BakarBakar

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.
If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.
Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.
Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.