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Caution… They Walk Among Us!

September 7, 2008 – 6:24 am by Bakar Man | Comments Off Email This Post Email This Post  |  Comments Off

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it
saying: “Free to good home.You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50.” The next day someone stole it.

>>> >Caution… They Walk Among Us!

~~~~~~~~~
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….”Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and >said… “where???”

>>> >They Walk Among Us!!
~~~~~~~~

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff.”

>>> >They Walk Among Us!!

~~~~~~~

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh,
Pacific”.
>>> >They Walk Among Us!!!

~~~~~~~~

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but, “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.”

>>>> They Walk Among Us!!!!

~~~~~~~

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to
cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk…

>>> >They Walk Among Us!!!!!

~~~~~~~~

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount…. >>> >(maybe I should have bought 10 cases)

>>> >They Walk Among Us!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trainedprofessional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has you plane arrived yet?”…

>>> >They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”

>>> >Yep, they walk among us>>> >AND they reproduce!

   

 

Girls and Boys…. too good

September 7, 2008 – 6:09 am by Bakar Man | Comments Off Email This Post Email This Post  |  Comments Off

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Work allotment

September 3, 2008 – 7:03 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

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Dum asses

September 2, 2008 – 8:32 pm by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

   

 

Be strong, honey. I love you…

June 17, 2008 – 7:00 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into  the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers to his wife,  ”Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict - look at his clothes!

He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you.

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates(upset) you. This guy is probably very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he’ll kill us Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To  which the wife responds, “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my  ear.
He told me he was gay
(homosexual) , thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom.  so,
Be strong, honey. “I love you,  too”.

   

 

Arrested for laughing

June 12, 2008 – 4:10 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing…… She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick’.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

The case was dismissed!  

   

 

Marriage

June 3, 2008 – 5:56 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.

She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why
are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?” he asks solemnly. “Yes I do” she
replies.

The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. “Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?”

“Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.. “Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for
20 years?”

“I remember that too” she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have been released today!”

   

 

If Vijay Mallya gets into LPG Gas Distribution!!?

May 6, 2008 – 9:51 pm by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

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How people give explanations! !!!!!!!

April 25, 2008 – 3:53 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

Suddenly one of the employees in an organization took 10 days Leave Without any notice.
 
When he returned his PL asked for explanation.  The employee said “Sir, my mom died unexpectedly” .
 
The PL let it go at That.  After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this time the said his Father died.
Then the PL got changed.
 
After 3 months the same pattern Repeated. And the employee gave the explanation that his mom died.
After 3 months same thing again… And this time his father died.
 
This Happened repeatedly for 2 years.
At the end, one PL checked his past Records and told him, “I have caught you red handed,
How come in the Past 2 years, your mom has died 5 times, and your dad has died five Times?”
 
NOW GUESS THE ANSWER… 
  
   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
To which the guy said,
“Sir, my mom died and my father remarried.
Then my father died and my new mom remarried.
Then my mom died and the new Father remarried.
This has been going on and on and on and…”

   

 

Employee of the month

April 23, 2008 – 3:25 am by Bakar Man | No Comments » Email This Post Email This Post  |  No Comments »

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